Suggested answer by Belinda Ao
Wanted
An 8-year-old girl was kidnapped (1m) near Jurong MRT Station (1m) on Thursday, 15 March 2009, at 7 am (1m).
The suspect is a Chinese female. She is 1.6m tall and is about 25 to 30 years old. She was last seen in a yellow T-shirt and black pants (1m).
Anyone with information on the suspect should inform the police (1m) and there is a reward of up to $50, 000 for information leading up to the identification, arrest and conviction of the suspect.
Do not approach her as she is armed and dangerous (1m).
Thank You.
Report by
Sgt Oliver Twist
Police Officer
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14 comments:
i've only gt 13 marks cause i should not have written 'public'as an audience.i should hav either nt rite anything or just rite, 'WANTED'.
i only got 13 marks as i had 2 mistakes .i did not put a full stop and the word she
I only got 12 marks because of using inappropriate heading ang left out a point(What anyone with the information should do)I will try to be more careful next time and read the poster or anything more carefully.
Nur Naazilah
6-9
I got 13 marks for this SW.My content was perfect but my language was bad.I wrote From:A police officer.I should not have written that as the SW this time is a report to be published in the newspaper.At the end of my writing,I wrote 'Please publish this report in the newspaper.' but that is not necessary for me to write that.
I got 12 marks because I wrote the suspect looks like instead of is a female and the other mistake is my sentence is not specific enough.
by
fong wei deng
I have added a redundant sentence and have tenses mistake.I did not tell what anyone with the information should do what and did not write who am i.
i got 11 marks because i left out the place where the crime was commited. my committed was spelt wrongly as i left out 1 't'. i use was when it should be is. the age should be 25 to 30 but i put 25-30. i put saw when it should be see.
just left out smetginh. i 4gt sign off.
I only got 12 marks because of my language. I should not have written "lady" for the suspect and when I was signing off, I put "Your Sincerely, ..." but not "Yours Sincerely, ...".
i did not write what the people with informations of the suspect should do and i did not sign off telling who i am.I also had to improve on my language
by the way, i am jacelyn:P
i only got 12 mrks cuz i did not rite the wanted as the title and missed out one content
Tan Guan Min
i got only 14 marks for my sw as i wrote "the suspect we have in mind ..." instead of "the suspect...". the phrase "we have in mind " is unessesery
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