Monday, June 8, 2009

CW feedback - Eugene;s writing

C 14 L 12

An average piece with enough relevant ideas though they can be more developed. Writer needs to check the sequence of events and the clarity in expressing his ideas. Refrain from writing jail terms and fines. We've discussed umpteen times in class that these are not very realistic.

1. sorching hot afternoon
2. momment
3. the bonet of the Honda civic
4. to dialled
5. The police and the paramedics came and cordoned off the area.
6. hancuffed

5 comments:

Jia Hui said...

-scorching hot afternoon
-moment
-the bonnet of the Honda civic
-to dialled
-The police and the paramedics came and cordoned off the area.
-handcuffed

Qian Wei said...

1. Scorching hot afternoon
2. moment
3. the bonnet of the Honda civic
4. to dial
5. the police and the paramedics came and the poilce cordoned off the area
6. handcuffed

eugene woon said...

1.scorching hot afternoon.
2.moment.
3.the bonnet of the Honda Civic.
4.to dial.
5.as the police and paramedics came, the police cordoned off the area.
6.handcuffed.

PYB said...

1. scorching hot afternoon
2. moment
3. the bonnet of the honda civic
4. to dial
6. handcuffed

Xiao Qi said...

1.schorching hot afternoon
2.moment
3.the bonnet of the HOnda Civic
4.to dial
5.The police and the paramedics came and cordoned off the area.
6.handcuffed