C 12 L 9
The basic structure of the composition is there but Writer has to work on expressing his ideas in proper sentence structures. Many mistakes could be avoided if the editing had been more thorough.
1. It was five-thirty in the evening, I was on my way home.
2. walking passed
3. might had happened
4. had been knock
5. many people started to see and the driver also came out.
6. Second later,
7. scence
8. tracffic
9. peramedicts
10. After all these happenings, it thaught me that I should cycle in the middle of the road but cycle at the side.
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4 comments:
for the fifth pointof my writing which is :
5. many people started to see and the driver also came out.
i think it should be like this :
many people started to become curious what was happening.The driver also came out of the car.
-Sng Jia Hui
1. it was five-thirty in the evening and i was on my way home.
2. walking past
3. might have happen
4. has been knock
5. many people started to look and the driver came out.
6. seconds later,
7. scene
8. traffic
9. paramedics
10. after all these happenings, i taught me that i should not cycle at the middle of the road but at the side
2. walking past
3. might have happened
4. had been knocked
6. seconds later,
7. scene
8. traffic
9. paramedics
1. It was five-thirty in the evening and I was on my way home.
2. walking past
3. might have happened
4. had been knocked
5. Many people were looking and the driver came out of his vehicle soon after.
6. Seconds later,...
7. scene
8. traffic
9. paramedics
10. After all the things that have happened,I learnt that I should cycle at the side of the road and not in the middle of the road.
-HuiXin
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