Saturday, June 6, 2009

CW feedback - Yan Bo's writing

C 14 L 13 Total 27/40

Good attempt in application of good vocabulary in the composition. However, it is not very clear to the readers whether the main character was walking or cycling. Writer needs to be clearer in expressing the ideas.

Good Vocab:
1. muttered matter-of-factly
2. an earth-shattering boom
3. thrown in the air like a rag doll
4. landed in a heap
5. knew the gravity of the situation

Mistakes:
1.... as they rush out og the school...
2. "Let's cycle fastly across the road."
3. At the juncture, a car is speeding towards John.
4. John was threw in the air...
5. "Quickly, sent hm to the hospital!" I shouted.

1 comment:

Jia Hui said...
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